The Calm in the Storm

// March 17, 2022 // The Calm in the Storm

Kristi is less than a week away from her next immunotherapy/chemotherapy treatment. She will head back on Monday the 21st for blood work and then the 22nd will be round three. She also has an MRI scheduled for the 23rd. They want to rule out anything going on in her brain. She is doing very well this week. She has ventured out a few times on errands with me. Her biggest challenge is getting tired quickly. This is to be expected as the chemo takes a toll on her healthy cells in order to wipe out the cancer. Her Oncologist told us that she will be in battle mode for the first 7-10 days after treatment, recovery mode for 5-7 days, feel good for 5-7 days and then repeat the cycle again. She has done amazing! She is in feel good stage now and ready to go into battle again.

As I look at the blog, I see posts getting spaced out naturally with the progress of treatment. It’s interesting to me how crisis brings more communication and routine brings less. It made me ask myself the question, “How do I act when everything is ‘normal’?” It seems like my guard is let down and comfort sets in. I know Kristi is fighting death and sickness, and yet, she externally looks and acts well enough for my mind to drift into normalcy.

Our bodies are not meant to be in a continual state of urgency or war. We have to rest and retreat in order to recover and prepare for the next thing. We get fatigued and begin acting irrationally when we are on high alert all the time. People around us see our behavior and they themselves move into high alert and the circle of urgency extends until everyone around us is stressed out. For a time, this is appropriate as we come together to wage war on our knees in prayer and through practical acts of generosity and service. However, no one can sustain that pace forever.

Several times over the past couple weeks, Kristi has looked at me and said, “I’m so over this!” I look back and her and say something like, “I know” or “keep fighting” or “you are awesome” or some other cheap statement. It’s easy for me to say silly phrases because I’m not the one battling cancer. 😁 What’s happening is she is communicating her need for recovery. She needs something “normal” – she doesn’t need another battle just yet. She is longing for safety from the battle.

David has much experience with this kind of desire. He found himself in one urgent situation to another. He was either fighting off lions and bears while protecting his sheep, or running from the death warrants of King Saul, or he was in a battle with his mighty men. We see some of his soul’s cry in Psalm 61

“O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me. Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings!” Psalms 61:1-4

Can you relate to his words? He was battle fatigued and just needed rest. He needed a safe place to recover. He wanted to find that place and stay forever. He is someone who is desperate for safety and normalcy.

God has been so good to us. He has given us a respite. He has given us a quiet calm. He has allowed us to reduce our anxiety, pressure, and urgency. Yes, the war is waging in Kristi’s body. Next week, will bring back the urgency and battle. Soon, we will be back at it. But now, we rest. We recover. We enjoy. We are grateful.

We can’t thank each of you enough for continually praying and asking God for His presence and power to be in our lives. Thank you for prayers of peace and strength. Thank you for prayers of joy and endurance. He has answered.

Even though we are quiet at times. Please don’t stop praying! We are in need of Him as we always have been.

Ray Rhoton

#jointhefight

#kristiswar

#warriorqueen